You guys, the other day I was so jacked to start my bullet journal. I almost went to Walgreens for materials at like 8:30 at night, but decided to contain myself and wait until the following day and take my time scowering the shelves at office depot filled with, washi tape and felt tip pen yummy goodness! Great decision by me.
Now, while I was there I couldn't find the notebooks with grid paper, which I needed because I wanted to be very methodical about my sectioning and page dividing. So, I searched around for probably too long, the baby had thrown enough things on the floor and was clutching an address book she decided to claim (btw, who the fuck is still buying address books?), and I thought it was best to ask for help. I find an employee, she looked to me to be in her 50s, I don't know if that is relevant you tell me when you hear the whole story. I told her what I was looking for and promptly showed me where to find this OCD journalist's dream notebook and then she said something that for some reason pissed off. I haven't been able to shake it. There were 2 color options and she said "Is it for a boy or a girl?."
I have to assume that at this point she thinks that I am buying this notebook for an older child who is not featured on this episode of "how to survive office depot with a toddler." Um, why does that matter? If I (or said imaginary child) had a penis would I (he) be physically incapable of writing in a hot pink notebook? Would my vagina fall off if I chose the blue one? Where does this crap come from? It popped back in my head today because on GMA they were discussing the new commercial with one of the William's sisters where words flash on the screen and the word female disappears and replace by "greatest athlete of all time" (or something like that). I see this commercial and I am naturally like "yes bitch, woorrrrrkkkk." But, now that I have a daughter I think a little more into it. Like, why is this such a big deal? Why do we still have to get these "wins"? Why does she have to chose the pink notebook? Why does everyone ask if I dress her in tutus or put headbands on her?
Let me step back for one second, I am a HBBQ, as my friend Jena Sims so affectionally calls us. Has. Been. Beauty. Queen. SO, some of these questions would so happen to come with the territory: the former strutter of swimsuits and evening gowns in heels territory. When I found out that I was having a girl I think people expected me to shoot out a rock step rocking, runway twirling, glitter covered, perfect pretty little princess. I can count the times that I have put her in a tutu on one hand. Most of the toys and big tickets items that we own for her that are gender specific I did not buy. Listen I love Cinderella, Aurora and Snow as much as the next 90s kid but I don't want my kid thinking this shit is reality.
I don't want to raise a "girly-girl" or even a "tom-boy" for that matter. I want my kid to be herself! If that means eating sand and smashing her face twice in one week playing rough fine! If that means mimicking me putting on my make up and picking bows to put in her hair, also fine.
I had a conversation today with a mom of 6 girls. Count em SIX. All fucking girls. She told me, all but one of her girls chose to marry a man from an ALL boy family? Why? "My girls were just people, they learned to be people. They can cook AND mow the lawn." I would have to assume the same went for all of the chosen husbands. This really struck a cord with me. If you don't have a direct gender comparison what would happen? You do it all. You are just a people and you learn to do it all, I just want my kids to be PEOPLE. Boys can have dolls and girls can play with trucks.
Get out of their way! They don't know any better they are allowed to have varied interests. Unless you tell them pink is for girls or blue is for boys, guess what? They don't know!!! What you do with your own kids is none of my business, but when you see my bad ass baby girl in your son's jujitsu class. Keep you fucking mouth shut.
Because, I know some bad ass lesbians that will kick your ass:)
Shauna Hyler, mommy of two beautiful girls! Working, blogging, and adventuring with the hubby and my sweet girls.