My work life is scheduled down the 15 minute. 15. Down to it. When I am not at work, I simply can not live that type of life. I am a self proclaimed "choose your battles" wife and mom. Schedule be damned. This is REAL life people.
Here's how it works I say to myself, self:
"Will someone be seriously hurt or affected long term by this decision."
No? OK, fine, whatever.
Children are not "meant to be seen not heard" or made to be lived vicariously through. I let my daughter sing dumb nursery rhymes tone deaf and at the top of her lungs because that is why they were invented. Sang babygirl sang. We sometimes nap in a chair because I am growing a human while chasing a small human and I am too exhausted to move the 30 pound human off of my body to her bed. Don't care.
Sometimes she wears that same flaming shirt two days in a row because, we do need to wear clothing yes, she loves that damn stupid shirt. Who cares.
She ate ice cream at 9 am the other day because she ate a solid, well rounded fucking breakfast and I needed to do laundry while she stayed in one place. Boom. You say sucker, I say winner.
"Chips, yummy, yes please momma!" If you can say no to that, you are a God damned wizard because toddler talk knows right when and where to hit ya to drop that guard. She is very polite and totally wears her heart on her sleeve, you try saying NO.
When my two year old is crying climbing up my body saying "I go to the car, I need blankie" in the middle of gymnastics class, we leave. I am not a drill sergeant, I am not a stage mom, she is FUCKING two.
We all have days where we wish we could just bail, me making her stay there sobbing and ruining it for everyone else proves absolutely nothing.
Do not get me wrong here. I am not run by a tiny tyrant. My husband and I are in control and we do use the word NO. It is reserved for cases like, you are going to melt your hands and face off if you touch that, or no we will not be eating a diet of only fruit snacks today, you may not ride the dog, yes you have to be strapped into your car seat. When we say no we give a reason. This is so important. No can not become an empty threat when it is overused.
To me if you don't over use it it holds far more power. I don't want to say no all day, this is her house and her life too. If there is something that she can't have, it is simply not accessible to her. Why would I want to spend my days placing decorative glass do-dads back into bowls over and over. I DON'T HAVE THE TIME OR ENERGY.
She is allowed in all the rooms in our house, hold on to your pearls! Yes we still have nice things, they don't live at toddler eye level. Yes, she empties the cabinets, so what? Again I call that winning, rinse the Tupperware and move on, I just made an entire dinner without locking my kid out of the room because I knew there was nothing she could reach that could hurt her. Before you ask, no, I don't have locks on cabinets, cleaners live on the tip top shelf, hell we don't even have handles on our cabinets. If you don't deny access to something the novelty will wear off. She has access to her own, yes her own tablet, it is not a reward it is not really limited, she barely uses it, she has always gotten bored of it before I have had to steer her away from it.
Yes, it is a pain in the ass when we go to someone else's house that does not have children or has children that are painfully well behaved and don't touch anything they aren't supposed to, and we have to hover over her and repeatedly tell her No word and explain why things are not for her. So, sometimes we just wont go. Because I don't want my kid to live in a world of NO. Yes, she will grow up. Yes, she will get to an age where she needs to understand the world is not catered to her. I just don't know if the time for all the NOs and DON'Ts to rain down on her is 26 months young on this earth.
I promise you no one has been seriously, life alteringly affected by a missed nap or lunch made of processed foods. We are all still standing, and honestly I have a really good sleeper and very adventurous eater on my hands. When they are tired they will sleep. Its amazing.
I am not going to apologize ANYMORE for my free spirited, dirty footed, curious, loud baby girl. We love her that way, I'm not going to be the one who slows her down. You don't have to invite us to sit with you. We will be fine over here at our peanut free, sing-a-long loving, obnoxious table, without bibs, politely.
As always, thank you for reading!
Shauna Hyler, mommy of two beautiful girls! Working, blogging, and adventuring with the hubby and my sweet girls.