I'm a little pancake on my back, I'm a little pancake nice and flat...

As I have finished up nursing I notice I haven't had much of a reason to talk about my boobs anymore, and there hasn't been much of them to talk about. Insert crying Kimoji here. Like, I was an "on demand milk tapper" for 12 months and this is what I get? I mean I didn't really think I was gonna come out of this with just a smaller version of my once pretty amazing cha-chas (if I do say so myself). But, this? This is unfair.

For those of you who have had kids and nursed I know you are feeling my pain right about now. For those of you who have not nursed, I would love some feed back on if Gravity has done such a number on you or if you have escaped unscathed. If you were able to nurse and keep something attached to you body that resembles you former FUN bags in anyway, don't tell me I don't know if my heart can take it.

Picture: you put and orange inside of a sock, and then you smashed the orange with a frying pan, now hold the sock at the top. You get my drift? Not the best right?

I was sooooooooo excited to got to underwear drawer and pull out a slinky little bra with NO NURSING CLIPS! When the day finally came I was like a preteen getting her first training bra. The memories of my peppermint slathered, cold compress covered, milk drying boobs were fading away....ahhhhhh.

Wait? What? Who put this bra in here? Why is it so big? Or who the fuck snuck in here and sprinkled some of shit Alice drank to make her shrink on my previously perfectly sized, 26 year old boobs?

I am pissed. I look down and my girls are just floating around in there like Jared in his fat man pants on a Subway commercial. This is just not fair, plus there are very subtle stretch marks, (ya know from the whole orange in the sock effect.)

I am telling you this because I didn't think that this was going to happen to me. I was the hot chick in the gym with the tiny waist that NEVER lost her boobs. It was like my super power! Now it's gone, sigh.

So there you go members of the "itty bitty titty committee" branches of the world. You win ok? You win! Where do I get my membership card?

Follow me on Insta for more shenanigans: _cryingoverspilledmilk