Well, for starters you just had a human come out of you. A HUMAN! You have given life! Now, strap on your ice diaper momma because it is about to get messy.
Do not pack anything to wear on the bottom half of body in recover besides black. Did I say grey? Did say floral pattern Etsy designed gauchos? No. Black momma. Black. I have said this before but I promise I will get a post up with what you MUST had in your hospital bag before I have this second baby!
Think you are gonna be prancing your ass around your recovery room singing sweet lullabies to your sweet, shriveled new bundle like Snow White? Think again. If you had an epidural it will be several hours before you look like anything less than drunk gumby. C-section= surgery, proceed with caution. Natural birth? Your feet wont touch the ground because four muscular men will be carrying you around like the goddess beast you are. Roar momma, roar.
Nursing, yes? Great, snap that uterus back into place with natural contracting, and a complete emptying of all the blood inside of your body as a reward everytime you get a good latch. You're welcome. But don't forget it is soooo good for baby.
So now that you have cramped worse than your most horrifying period, lets talk about your nipples. Someone snuck in and replaced them with razor blades? Yes? No? Just stay the course and call the lactation consultant, and get some good cream! My favorite is medela, non greasy and safe for baby. It is worth it momma!
My body felt similar to a night after a double work out, wearing wrist and ankle weights in 105 degree weather without a sip of water. Ok fine I have never done that but you will be sore, sore all over really. Get your rest when you can.
I don't know why no one told me that I would continue to look 6 months pregnant for atleast 72 hours, and then the skin that used to cover my taught tummy will be a jello jiggler. You won't feel like you are in your own body for a quite a while, compression camisoles help and I did wear a sort of corsetty thing for a while. Not a waist trainer. I like my organs where they belong.
Did I brush my teeth today?.....it's 4pm.... Whatever I haven't left the house in days I'm sure the baby doesn't mind my breath, or this outfit I have been wearing for 3 days.
Do yourself a favor and stock your house with more coffee than you every thought you could drink in a lifetime. Trust me. 2 hours of sleep at a crack just ain't gonna do it. And that whole sleep when the baby sleeps thing is a totally fantasy, there is so much to be done when you have full use of both arms.
Numbing spray is a must for vaginal birth. If they give you some in the hospital put it in your suitcase and ask for more. The cool mist to your undercarriage is nothing short of euphoric, especially if you have a few pesky stitches. Picture a scab healing on a knuckle....ouchie. The peri bottle is also a close personal friend of mine, I like the water about room temp, then aim and fire.
I had the fortunate problem of my milk coming in fast and furious, luckily I had plenty of boobie pads on deck. Do not sleep without these puppies in your bra. Que me waking up to my husband looking confused and pointing to my soaking wet shirt and uttering "uh you have milk on your shirt" oh really? And then it dried like crispy, which bears a risk of crusting your nipple to stuck your bra. Not cool.
Gimme them king size pads and keep em coming. I took all of the disposable undies from my hospital room and then some. This was all I wore for 2 weeks. Why I am gonna mess up my own undies with who knows what is coming out of me? And I don't know what you but I don't own panties that are capable of the heavy lifting that is needed for super, jumbo, extra absorbent pads, and an ice pad underneath. That is a big job.
Sleep is a distant memory. Somehow, you function without it but never really know if it is day or night and it doesn't matter because baby wants to eat every 2 hours round the clock so it is all the same to you.
While you are busy worrying your pretty little head about every possible thing that could happen to your precious new little mini you, don't forget to take care of yourself. Yes they need you, but you are healing too. You need to eat good real foods and hydrate. Especially if you are nursing because you are passing it to baby, but even if you aren't. You are no good to anyone if you are dead to the world, exhausted and depleted.
Ask for help and accept help when it is offered. Ain't no shame in my game if people we coming over to meet baby and I needed something I asked if they could pick it up.
They are offering, Venmo them the money for the wine and move on!
(do you know how hard a target run is as a new nervous mom, plus that involves changing from plaid pj pants to yoga pants.)
Ah, I can't wait to do it all again.
Good luck momma,
You Got This!
Shauna Hyler, mommy of two beautiful girls! Working, blogging, and adventuring with the hubby and my sweet girls.